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Bizarre News from Zimbabwe

A Zimbabwean man has told a court that he hired a prostitute who during the night transformed into a donkey, and that he is now “seriously in love” with the animal, state media said Wednesday.
“I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with (the) donkey,” Sunday Moyo told the court, according to The Herald newspaper.
Moyo, 28, was arrested in the town of Zvishavane, about 300 kilometres (185 miles) south of the capital Harare on Sunday.
He said he had paid $25 for a prostitute, and was surprised Sunday morning when he heard people accusing him of having sex with a donkey.
Moyo has been charged with bestiality. The court has ordered him to undergo a mental examination, The Herald said.

How come?
Husband files for divorce in a court and the judge asked for reasons, he replied; “I no cum, she no cum, pikin cum, how cum?”

Dumb competition                                                     
Little Johnny (asked teacher): Excuse me, ma. If you mix Omo detergent and So klin, will there be foaming?
Teacher: Yes of course, why ask such a stupid question at the beginning of the year! Are you going to pass this class at all?
Little Johnny :( Smiles and whispers to other kids) such a dumb teacher, how can you get foam without adding water, are we going to learn anything at all with this teacher?

Number 19.
One of my friends always prided himself in landing such a cool job, and a beautiful, Agbani babe in the same month. On this year's Valentine's Day, he went over to the flat he had gotten and furnished for her, to take her out to Taipan for dinner. While she was in the shower, the Razr phone he had bought for her weeks before began ringing, and he picked the phone to see the Caller ID.
He chuckled to himself when he saw 'Mugu No 2'. He shook his head, wondering why all the guys would never stop disturbing his babe. Seconds later, he picked the phone again, his curiosity picked at what she had saved his number as. He dialed his number and dropped the phone when he saw the caller ID. He picked his jacket and walked out.
She had saved his number as 'Mugu No 19'.

Money Issue
Before the police came to pack all the beggars from Yaba last year, there was a constant blind beggar who always sat near the NYSC statue (if you know Yaba well, it's just at the roundabout, where you can find buses going to Idi-araba). He had a dog that was always faithfully at his side, and never left him. The scene always used to touch one of my friends and she would drop some change in the beggar's bowl on our way to school, but one day we were almost late for class and we hurried past, only for the man to run after us, begging for money. We were surprised.
"How did you know I passed you?” my friend asked. "Are you not blind?"
"I am not blind," replied the man, pointing to the dog. "It's Rover that is blind".
On closer inspection, we realized that the "To whom it may concern" tablet hanging from the man's neck did indeed say that one "Rover Donalds xxxxxx was blind from cataract". Nigerians!  What wont we do for money?

Life
God created the donkey and said to him, "You will be a donkey. You will work untiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years.”
The donkey answered, "I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20.” God granted his wish.
God created the dog and said to him, "You will guard the house of Man. You will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years. You will be a dog.”
The dog answered, "Sir, to live 30 years is too much. Give me only 15."
God granted his wish.
God created the monkey and said to him, "You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. You will be a monkey."
The monkey answered, "To live 20 years is too much. Give me only 10.”
God granted his wish.
Finally god created man, and said to him, "You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of earth. You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
Man responded, "Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused.
God granted man's wish....
And since then...
Man lives 20 years as a man,
marries and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back.
Then when his children are grown...
he lives 15 years like a dog,
taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old, he can retire
and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another,
doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren
That's LIFE

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