Last updateMon, 07 Jul 2014 9am

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The following dialogue ensued between a driver and a passenger.

If you were inside the vehicle, what will you do?

Conductor: Wey ur money?
Passenger: I be staff!
Conductor: Which kind staff u be? You be Police?
Passenger: No!
Conductor: You be Soldier?
Passenger: No!
Conductor: You be Navy?
Passenger: No!
Conductor: You be Air Force?
Passenger: No!
Conductor: Then, wetin u be self! Abeg pay my money jo!
Passenger: I be Boko Haram.:x

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”. The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”

An American lawyer and a Nigerian are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that Nigerians are so dumb that he could put something over on them easily, So the lawyer asks if the Nigerian would like to play a fun game.

The Nigerian is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The American lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun.


A girl passing by on an okada saw her boyfriend withdrawing money from the ATM…she immediately sent him this message “my love, if you are sleeping, send me your dreams, if you are laughing send me your laugh. If you are crying send me your tears, if you are eating send me your food and if you are using your ATM send me the money”. The guy replied “I dey toilet”.


What girls want to hear?

"Nine Million Bicycles" in the days of love letter writing


There are nine million bicycles in Beijing 
That's a fact, 
It's a thing we can't deny 
Like the fact that I will love you till I die.

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