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Last updateMon, 07 Jul 2014 9am

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My friend just found his stolen car. His blackberry phone and every other document are intact, but the robbers made away with his fuel.

We went to church on 31st nite singing "Everything na double double" so who do we now blame for the double increase in Fuel price?

Customer: How much you dey cut hair for here?

Barber : Oga naa 100naira with 'Nepa' but 800Naira with Gen'!

WARRI GUY and JONATHAN over fuel subsidy

WARRI GUY:bros i hail oh!

JONATHAN: You are welcome

WARRI GUY: bros the tin wey make mi com see you ,na becos of the mata wey dey ground so....

Young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport.
As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies.
She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace.
Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading.
When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also.
She felt irritated but said nothing.

Dear my dearest,
This is your girlfriend calling.
Before i go on, how is your air condition?
You do something i don't like at all.
You take another girlfriendship & it pains me.

WIFE; at least, give me your credit card, i can do some shopping
HUSBAND; sharing violation, access denied
WIFE; i made a mistake in marrying you
HUSBAND; data type mismatch
WIFE; you are useless
HUSBAND; by default
WIFE; who was with you in your car this morning?
HUSBAND; system unstable press ctrl,alt,del to reboot
WIFE; What is the relationship between you and your receptionist?
HUSBAND; the only user with write permission
WIFE; what is my value in your life?
HUSBAND; unknown virus detected

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