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An African chieftain flew to the United States to visit the president. When he arrived at the airport, a host of newsmen and television cameramen met him. One of the reporters asked the chief if he had a comfortable flight. The chief made a series of weird noises .... "screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-" ... and then added in perfect English, "Yes, I had a very nice flight." Another reporter asked, "Chief, do you plan to visit the Washington Monument while you're in the area?" The chief made the same noises ... "screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z" ... and then said, "Yes, and I also plan to visit the White House and the Capitol Building." "Where did you learn to speak such flawless English?" asked the next reporter. The chief replied, "Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z ... from the short-wave radio."

The Parrot!!Piet was a bachelor. And his buddies decided to give him a parrot for his 30th birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren´t expletives were, to say the least, rude. Piet tried hard to change the bird´s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got angry and ruder. Finally, in a moment of desperation, Piet put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking and cursing -- and then suddenly all was quiet. Piet was afraid he had actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Piet´s extended arm and said: -* "I´m sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior." Piet was staring mouth wide open and astonished at the bird´s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a drastic change when the parrot said: -*"Sir, May I ask what the chicken did?"

A Zimbabwean man has told a court that he hired a prostitute who during the night transformed into a donkey, and that he is now “seriously in love” with the animal, state media said Wednesday.
“I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with (the) donkey,” Sunday Moyo told the court, according to The Herald newspaper.
Moyo, 28, was arrested in the town of Zvishavane, about 300 kilometres (185 miles) south of the capital Harare on Sunday.
He said he had paid $25 for a prostitute, and was surprised Sunday morning when he heard people accusing him of having sex with a donkey.

A farm family from the warri was visiting Johannesburg and they were in a shopping center for the first time in their lives. The father Apkos and his son Apkaroro were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. Apkaroro asked, -* "Pa, What's that?" Apkos (never having seen an elevator) responded, -* "Apkaroro my son, I do not know. I have never seen anything like that in my entire life; I got no idea what it is." While Apkos and Apkororo were watching with amazement, a fat old lady walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a young gorgeous, voluptuous woman stepped out. Apkos, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, -* "Apkaroro my son, run and fetch Ma....”




A Zimbabwean man has told a court that he hired a prostitute who during the night transformed into a donkey, and that he is now “seriously in love” with the animal, state media said Wednesday.
“I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with (the) donkey,” Sunday Moyo told the court, according to The Herald newspaper.
Moyo, 28, was arrested in the town of Zvishavane, about 300 kilometres (185 miles) south of the capital Harare on Sunday.
He said he had paid $25 for a prostitute, and was surprised Sunday morning when he heard people accusing him of having sex with a donkey.

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